The Bunyon - Satire News

In what will surely become the journalistic faux-pas of the year, Bunyon reporter Sam Irving wrote an entire article lacking any reference to the current economic recession. Leading to more calls for government intervention in what is becoming a failing industry, this episode is further evidence of the declining standards of American journalism.

Local lawmakers have called for an official apology by the newspaper and have even called the printing of the article “negligent.”

Despite his attempts to seem uninterested, busy, or late for something; 27 year-old Steven Turk is constantly finding himself receiving tips from his 62 year-old cubicle-mate, Sid Jacobson, on the fine art of scoping out a rack.

“They’re good tips.” Steven admitted. “But to be honest I just don’t have trouble with women at all, so I don’t have to constantly find ways to stare at cleavage. I can appreciate beautiful breasts just as well as the next man, maybe a glance once in a while, but Sid, he’s crazy for 'em.”

Hollywood – Citing irreconcilable differences, the breasts of Pamela Anderson filed for dissolution of their union with the actress today in Los Angeles County Superior Court and announced they will seek sole custody of her vagina.

“The pair has been estranged for several months, and wish to free themselves of the restrictive ties which bind them so closely to the actress,” said the teats’ attorney, Gloria Allred. “And it’s just so hot and sticky in there, not to mention that retard Kid Rock treating them like speed bags.”

Recent global statistics reflecting the current economic down-turn have millions of Americans concerned about their future, and they’re talking about it over coffee, over the company water cooler, and over their neighbor’s backyard fence.

Rita Carter, of Sunshine, Arizona said, “Back in 1990, we took a good screwing in that Silverado Savings and Loan scam.  ‘Lost our life savings and my husband had to go back to driving a cement truck.”  She looks lovingly at a statue on the lawn.  “It killed him, literally.  He fell in the hopper while it was goin’ ‘round and ‘round so I made this lawn jockey out of him.”  She shakes her head, placing a hand on her dearly beloved’s shoulder, sighs and says, “I just hope we don’t get f@#ked too hard.”